What Women Want in a Proposal
How to Propose starts with What Women Want
When planning a proposal the majority of guys are looking for ideas. The desire is to make it special. Often we see guys putting a lot of thought into the details. It is down to the level for some of what knee do I get down on one knee. Well the answer is clear to choose one and not both lest it look like your begging. In all seriousness most guys do not have it planned out down to explicit details. This creates anxiety, stress, and overall nervousness. Here is the key idea – step away from the details and start with what we have seen the majority of women want.
She Wants YOU
There are exceptions to this at a less than 1% level from what we have seen. The strong majority of women getting engaged are excited about the lifelong commitment. This is clearly not meant to say neglect trying or to ignore her desires. We share this as the commonly overlooked comfort that its about the relationship with you. Most women do not care about production value as seen in this comedian example.
It is commonly seen that women love the ring. Guys take is often that they need to get a really big shiny diamond. What we have seen is that often women are more looking at it tying the commitment to the ring. This is why she is not staring at it the majority of the photoshoot and she can easily focus on you.
She Wants the Story [Surprise]
She wants you to put a little effort in and try to make it special. Most guys inherently know this which is what causes some stress and idea hunting. A common question asked is ‘how did he do it?’ This is people asking for the story. To keep the story from being transactional you need to be able to bring surprise. Surprise is challenging because she knows you enough to want to marry you. The struggle that most guys will have is being weird. If you do not like the word weird lets exchange it for not being normal.
The story we offer is how you both felt with candid and playful emotion in photography. Beyond the photography alone we offer proposal planning to help you put the plan together in a way that gets you moments you cannot recreate.
She Wants a Good Location
There is this tension between a beautiful spot vs a secluded spot. We address a lot of the things you might not know with the popular Colorado locations in our Choosing the Right Location. There are also these other places people talk about online with a bit of ignorance. We have our favorite spots as well as those unofficial ones that are at unnamed spots to provide true seclusion we talk about in the best places to propose in Colorado. Colorado is privy to a ton of scenic views. Most of these are only accessible in the July through September months. There are many other places but they really do not fit topography wise for photography so we do not talk about them. All this to say we are not exhaustive. We are always looking for new spots that fit our proposal spot recipe and we list them on our Wish List. Many people will go with whatever spot when taking photos which we believe defeats the purpose if you are up in their face as it cuts out the candid emotion.
She Wants to Feel Beautiful
We are often asked how we get everyone so dressed up. Realistically we help you on the story, the location, and provide a good plan that helps with expectations. We have seen guys take this too far to even get in a fight with her right before the proposal. All that to say this is a fine balance topic. There are some tricks / tips we can provide. Adjusting the clothing, hair, makeup, or nails after the fact is not practical. If you plan for a hike then just know the look will be more dressed down.
Most women are concerned about their nails. For how we shoot the nails do not matter as they are small with a big panoramic area. When we take pictures of the ring most often it is off the hand. From there the makeup is the next biggest concern followed fairly equally by the hair and clothing. While many may want something like in the photo below realistically its not probable.
Know your Woman
Notice how we have used terms like many, the majority, often? We have seen about everything at this point. Perhaps we attract people that are a certain way so we are only seeing a part of the whole. We have vast levels of experience. After you see something hundreds of times you see patterns. You know her the best so if she wants production value than go for production value. If she wants you to parachute in for a surprise proposal wearing tux than get over your fear of heights. If she wants you, a story to tell, a good spot, and to look good lets talk.